There comes a time in everyone’s life when they realize that they have gotten off the correct path or was never walking it in the first place.
You keep getting subtle reminders from God to get back on track. You hear what God is telling you, but you push it to the back of your mind, telling yourself you will do it- one day.
One day passes by, then three more one day passes by until you are up to a year of one day! Or maybe three years of one day, as was my case.
I had gotten off my road of going to church, writing, and exercising. It all came to a halt when I was coupled up with a dependent person. They had to be by my side 14/7. I was at work the other 10 hours. I used this attachment as an excuse to why I couldn’t write, attend church, or exercise. This was not a healthy attachment. If I went to the hair salon, I’d look up and he was there. Smiling. Then he’d pull out money to pay for my hair. I’d tell him I was going to the nail shop and he said oh, I’ll take you. The same with shopping.
The constant phone calls. Oh my. He’d call and I would tell him I’m working and I will call back. And if my phone didn’t ring fifteen minutes later and all I could hear on the other end is, I thought your were going to call me back. My face would go into frown mode. I would take the phone off my ear and look at.
I used to go to writer’s conferences for many years, way before I met this person. Didn’t go on not one while I was with him. His insecurities led him to believe that I just attended to meet up with male authors. I stopped going so he wouldn’t think that. Silly me!
Then, I finally realized that this person was stopping me from walking my path. I truly believed this. God kept saying, no one is stopping you. These are excuses you are using. And if you really want to do something, get out of this unhealthy attachment of a relationship. I didn’t listen. This went on from 2013 to the very last day of 2016!
I anticipated ending the relationship, oh some time in 2017- middle of summer was my plan. I was miserable, but I kept telling myself that his feelings will be hurt if I bounce now. So I created a timetable because I knew that he was not going to change!
Things were kind of rocky during the holidays of 2016- starting with Thanksgiving. He wanted me to be with him 24/7. Tried to dictate when I could be home preparing holiday meals. He wanted me to go to his house for a couple of days, then go back home the morning of the holiday and cook, then come back to his house. When people try to break up your routine to fit their agenda is the time to run. We had major arguments. He accused me of not wanting to spend time with him. Maybe there is someone else on my radar. That mess was starting to get old because I knew a change was not coming. So in my mind, Summer of 2017 was my exit season. I told God, I will be out by summer and I will get back on the right path that you have paved for only me.
Well, God laughed. I didn’t know he was laughing at me at the time. I thought I had the answer.
Then God Interrupted my Normal on January 1, 2017!
Went home with him after a get together. My daughter calls me regarding an issue. I tell her I will call her dad to figure out everything. I make the call and when I hang up, my phone is flying across the room. He grabbed it out of my hand and threw it.
So I’m like damn! That’s how it is. Well I’m going home and I’ll come back tomorrow when you calm down.
The next words he said made me feel like I was going to turn into the incredible hulk.
“You are not going anywhere!”
Oh, yes the hell I am!
There was a little commotion. Then a little more. Then enough where a relative started beating on the door asking if everything is alright. He says yes. I say no.
Well, I was going to get out of that room.
With all of the blocking he tried to do and pulling me away from the door, I remembered my pepper spray! By the time I finished, he didn’t know what hit him and was yelling that I scratched his eyes out!
By the time I realized I rubbed my eyes with pepper spray and I couldn’t see, the rescue cavalry was there in the form of 6 police officers to help me out of room.
God interrupted my normal on January 1, 2017. Didn’t make it to my timeline of summer of 2017. I realized my timeline was not His timeline.
I thank God it didn’t end up worse than it could have been. If the police hadn’t been called, I don’t know if I would be here today.
You’d think after all of that, I would get back on track to doing what God had called me to.
Nah! didn’t happen….until
He had to Interrupt my Normal again…six months later. (next week’s blog)
~God Interrupted my Normal~